southern ramblings

I realize I'm not done talking about my trip to England, for that I'm sorry - I've been a little swamped lately. I do have great news - I will be turning in my resignation at my current employer in just a few hours. I have been offered another position elsewhere with a higher pay scale.

I'm personally very excited about moving on and leaving behind this chapter of my life. It is all part of my focus on me plan started several months ago. Going to England was the first major step, this is step number two. I never dreamed it would come so quickly on the heals of the first.

Thank you all for your love and support during this crazy time, especially my England Team. I never would have made it without you guys! :-)

Well, after working half a day at my office, I left for the airport. Big thanks to friend's parents for taking my car home from the airport and car-sitting for the week. Checking in at the airport was fairly painless considering there were 13 of us to check in. I tried to stay awake until we took off from Chicago. Sleeping on a plan stinks!!! We were all supposed to sit together, then ended up spread out all over the plane. One of our teammates ended up sitting all alone. The rest of us were sitting in the middle section, but still several rows apart. Oh well - we wanted to sleep most of the way anyway.

Sleep escaped many of us. I think we all got at least 45 minutes, and some got lots more, but it wasn't exactly restful sleep. We will survive!

Getting off in London was ok. My knees were killing me - I actually started crying b/c they hurt so badly. Going through passport control at Heathrow is a great story - if you wanna know just ask - it would have been funny if I wasn't exhausted and in quiet a bit of pain. I survived that is all that matters.

We made a dash for the train and made it. We were spread out all over the train which gave us a needed breather before we embarked on a mission experience that is sure to be amazing.

I have safely returned from England, along w/ the rest of my teammates. We had an amazing time and each have loads of stories to share - not to mention pictures. There is something so nice about coming home to sleep in my own bed (I'm so glad I got a new mattress a few months ago), clean sheets, and simply my own apartment. It was lovely.

I promise to post most of my journal from the trip (some parts are not for all to see) as soon as I can. I have class this weekend and must get some projects completed before I can rejoin the blogging world. I promise I'll return.

Thanks for prayers and well wishes - I feel blessed by it all.

Can I just get an Amen for procrastination? I really try to be on top of assignments, projects, meetings, etc. But is seems that I do my best work under pressure. I don't know if that has something to do w/ my lack of spare time and generally I have is time under pressure. I've been completing school this way for so long now, I don't think I can do it any other way. Kind of scary, huh?

Its kind of scary but I'm about halfway done with my assignments due on Saturday and it is only Tuesday. I'm starting to scare myself!! Maybe this is get it done early mentality can be part of the new me I'm working on. For those of you who don't know (which should be pretty much everybody - cause I haven't told a soul) I've decided to take time to focus on me. I turned in my notice to soccer that I will be on sabbatical through the Thanksgiving Holiday at which time I will re-evaluate my involvement with them.

In other news, I've decided to stay at my current employer and position. Mainly because I will not find another position with the flexibility, pay, and insurance that I have with this one. The insurance is something I can't live without right now, I should be released from the specialists care in another year or so. Oddly enough, as much as I wanted to leave two weeks ago, I'm at peace with the realization I have to stay. It is almost as if God is telling me, "No, you can't go yet. You're not finished there."

As for my lack of relationships w/ boys right now. I've resigned myself to the fact that I can't do anything about it. I'm working on me, improving me, and that is all I can do. Thankfully I have wonderful friends and a family who loves me. I'm pretty happy with that - everything else will come when the time is right. And in all reality, do I really have time to start a new relationship, the answer is NO. I would love to, because I so crave the cuddling, hugging, and hand holding that come along w/ a dating relationship, but I couldn't be emotionally invested right now. At least I don't think I could. I don't really know. I pray that God will grant me wisdom, patience, and peace in this area of my life.

Well, many things are up in the air right now. I still haven't made a decision as to my career situation. At this point I have made tentative phone calls, and emails expressing interest, but nothing yet. I did start my substitute teaching application, but it will have to wait until after my England trip for sure. In the next 6 days I have to prepare for an 8 hour class on Saturday, I have board meeting on Monday, England meeting on Tuesday, Wednesday is church (maybe) & study, Thursday is Study, Friday is study and final project prep. Saturday is class - I have to be at school by 7:45am!! For those of you who know me - you can realize exactly how amazing it is that I can make it to class. I am also working two jobs right now (still) in order to be comfortable - it sucks, but it is the price I have to pay (no pun intended).

I'm getting really excited about our England trip. I can't believe I'll be in London in 12 days!!! It's amazing.

I did something today I'm very proud of - I had enough courage to ask someone that I've been interested in for a while, if they were in fact interested in someone else. Sadly the answer is yes, he is interested in someone else. :-( BUT I at least had the nerve to ask, and now I know. "And knowing is half the battle" - Thanks GI Joe. I suppose it will make things better in the end, but that doesn't take any of the hurt away for now. I will survive - I am incredibly proud of myself for having enough guts to ask. Hopefully he and I can continue to be friends and that is it.