southern ramblings

Can I just get an Amen for procrastination? I really try to be on top of assignments, projects, meetings, etc. But is seems that I do my best work under pressure. I don't know if that has something to do w/ my lack of spare time and generally I have is time under pressure. I've been completing school this way for so long now, I don't think I can do it any other way. Kind of scary, huh?

Its kind of scary but I'm about halfway done with my assignments due on Saturday and it is only Tuesday. I'm starting to scare myself!! Maybe this is get it done early mentality can be part of the new me I'm working on. For those of you who don't know (which should be pretty much everybody - cause I haven't told a soul) I've decided to take time to focus on me. I turned in my notice to soccer that I will be on sabbatical through the Thanksgiving Holiday at which time I will re-evaluate my involvement with them.

In other news, I've decided to stay at my current employer and position. Mainly because I will not find another position with the flexibility, pay, and insurance that I have with this one. The insurance is something I can't live without right now, I should be released from the specialists care in another year or so. Oddly enough, as much as I wanted to leave two weeks ago, I'm at peace with the realization I have to stay. It is almost as if God is telling me, "No, you can't go yet. You're not finished there."

As for my lack of relationships w/ boys right now. I've resigned myself to the fact that I can't do anything about it. I'm working on me, improving me, and that is all I can do. Thankfully I have wonderful friends and a family who loves me. I'm pretty happy with that - everything else will come when the time is right. And in all reality, do I really have time to start a new relationship, the answer is NO. I would love to, because I so crave the cuddling, hugging, and hand holding that come along w/ a dating relationship, but I couldn't be emotionally invested right now. At least I don't think I could. I don't really know. I pray that God will grant me wisdom, patience, and peace in this area of my life.