Sunday, February 19, 2006
Being a Moses??
For those of you not attending church w/ me, let me give you a quick background. Today's sermon discussed the importance of being able to see the forrest through the trees so to speak. We focused on Exodus 18, where Moses is told by Jethro how to better manage his time. WOW - what a lesson is all I can say. I wondered as I sat in church, if I was a Moses, a bystander, or a Jethro. This has stayed w/ me all day and I'm still just a perplexed. My other thought is how do others see me? I know there are areas of my life in which I am a Moses, I also know I have been Jethro in the past.
I wonder if it is better to be one as opposed to the other? I get the impression from the lesson that neither is very good (at least at this moment in Moses' life). I also wonder which (if either) God would prefer?
I'm taking this class for grad school entitled Pre-Practicum for School Counselors. Really they should change the title to therapy/self-reflection practice. I'm freaking out w/ what I'm learning about myself. Basically the whole point of the course is for growth as an individual, in hopes of being able to better serve future clients. I'm all for spurring others on to grow - but I don't know if I'm ready myself. Here's what I know so far:
1) My trust was shattered by someone very close to me and although I thought I was over it, I'm not.
2) I pretend or fake it a whole lot more than I should, even around those I trust.
3) I have some confidence problems in myself and in my ability to relate to others.
On a good note, I have discovered how empathetic I am towards other people. It is just nice to at least have some redeeming quality. The remainder of the semester should be interesting, especially to see what I learn about myself.
I guess this big long post was just to say, please bear w/ me as I travel down the long road of self discovery right now.
I wonder if it is better to be one as opposed to the other? I get the impression from the lesson that neither is very good (at least at this moment in Moses' life). I also wonder which (if either) God would prefer?
I'm taking this class for grad school entitled Pre-Practicum for School Counselors. Really they should change the title to therapy/self-reflection practice. I'm freaking out w/ what I'm learning about myself. Basically the whole point of the course is for growth as an individual, in hopes of being able to better serve future clients. I'm all for spurring others on to grow - but I don't know if I'm ready myself. Here's what I know so far:
1) My trust was shattered by someone very close to me and although I thought I was over it, I'm not.
2) I pretend or fake it a whole lot more than I should, even around those I trust.
3) I have some confidence problems in myself and in my ability to relate to others.
On a good note, I have discovered how empathetic I am towards other people. It is just nice to at least have some redeeming quality. The remainder of the semester should be interesting, especially to see what I learn about myself.
I guess this big long post was just to say, please bear w/ me as I travel down the long road of self discovery right now.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Time Management...Valentine's Day :-(
Ok, so I dropped out of many of the activities I was involved w/ last semester. I'm very excited about having the time to actually focus on my graduate school classes and believe it or not I'm actually getting something out of them. But riddle me this batman.....why do I feel like I'm not busy enough? Do I have some kind of disorder that requires me to be going 90 to nothing before I feel accomplished? Where did this come from??
On an entirely separate note, I have a friend who I have recently discovered has been saying very unflattering things about me. Others (whom I trust) have come to me for verification and clarification. Amazing what you learn about a person, when they talk about you behind your back. I'm really perplexed as to what I should do about this, there is a very large part of me that says forget it, there is another part that doesn't want to just let it go. Pray for me that I make the right decision - whatever it is.
We have moved church buildings, and let me tell you how absolutely amazing church was in the new building. Even though we are meeting in the gym together, for the first time since I attended the OC we had church in one service (on a non-holiday Sunday)!! AMAZING is the only word for the sight of people crammed into the gym, the singing, and the fellowship. I feel so blessed to attend such a loving congregation.
Valentine's Day - still single - not such a good day. I really, really tried to convince myself that this was just any other Tuesday, but who was I kidding!! Red, pink, & white balloons, napkins, tablecloths, etc. seemed to follow me everywhere I went. I really did ok until tonight when I realized that I have spent another year of my life w/o having a significant other. 365 days of not having someone to call when I was excited, sad, bored, stressed, tired, etc. 365 days of not having a shoulder to cry on, someone to hug me and tell me it would be ok. 365 days of not having someone to simply share my life with - SUCKS!!!
Ok - I'm done whining for the moment - I have graduate school assignments I must catch up on. I guess that is one good thing about school - it doesn't allow me time for a pity party. Yeah for school - I guess.
On an entirely separate note, I have a friend who I have recently discovered has been saying very unflattering things about me. Others (whom I trust) have come to me for verification and clarification. Amazing what you learn about a person, when they talk about you behind your back. I'm really perplexed as to what I should do about this, there is a very large part of me that says forget it, there is another part that doesn't want to just let it go. Pray for me that I make the right decision - whatever it is.
We have moved church buildings, and let me tell you how absolutely amazing church was in the new building. Even though we are meeting in the gym together, for the first time since I attended the OC we had church in one service (on a non-holiday Sunday)!! AMAZING is the only word for the sight of people crammed into the gym, the singing, and the fellowship. I feel so blessed to attend such a loving congregation.
Valentine's Day - still single - not such a good day. I really, really tried to convince myself that this was just any other Tuesday, but who was I kidding!! Red, pink, & white balloons, napkins, tablecloths, etc. seemed to follow me everywhere I went. I really did ok until tonight when I realized that I have spent another year of my life w/o having a significant other. 365 days of not having someone to call when I was excited, sad, bored, stressed, tired, etc. 365 days of not having a shoulder to cry on, someone to hug me and tell me it would be ok. 365 days of not having someone to simply share my life with - SUCKS!!!
Ok - I'm done whining for the moment - I have graduate school assignments I must catch up on. I guess that is one good thing about school - it doesn't allow me time for a pity party. Yeah for school - I guess.
