southern ramblings

UPDATE

2007-05-04T07:37:00.000-07:00

OK, in my last post I said I would try to be more diligent about posting - obviously that didn't happen. I have successfully completed another semester in school and the end is in sight. I will hopefully only go to school one more year before I qualify for my alternative license which will allow me to work as a school counselor while I complete my final internship requirements. That's what I'm hoping and praying will happen.
In the personal realm, I'm in the midst of birthday celebrations, which are always fun! I've recently returned to the singles group at church and love it. The new format (geographically divided small groups) is awesome. I haven't done much pleasure reading lately, but I'm about to order several books for my one month hiatus from school. I start class again in June, but it is with the same professor I had this semester and should be excellent. I'm a little floored that all I seem to be able to talk about is school today. I guess that is just where my brain is at the moment. I'll try to update more regularly - please notice I said try....

On the road again....

2007-02-28T10:58:00.000-08:00

So, I've been dealing with too many things to go into details about - but one day maybe I'll elaborate. Here is the highlight real for the last six or so weeks:

1. Taking one graduate class this semester has been amazing. I love the freedom to live life and complete work and school, too.
2. Aforementioned freedom, allows me time to think and process alone - a very dangerous thing for me.
3. I having someone tell me I was missed, may have been one of the sweetest things anyone ever said to me.
4. Suprise flowers delivered to my desk were both AMAZING! I have never before been sent flowers (my sis sent me a plant in college), and it absolutely melted my heart.
5. Said flowers came with an unsigned card and a messege that read "Just beacuase you are loved." I have ideas of who they are from, but I'm oddly content not knowing the final answer.
6. The realization that it has taken me nearly two years to be ok with crying at church and I'm still not great at it.
7. I am a hopeless romantic which makes things hard sometimes, but wonderful all at the same time.

I promise I'm not dead. I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. I will try to be more forthcoming with information in the future. Thanks for hanging with me until I could resurface. Have a great day

The new year...

2007-01-11T16:15:00.000-08:00

I survived New Year's Eve, although I didn't do anything, partly becuase of my knee injury which prevented me from being able to dress up in fancy clothes (even I like to do that now and again), but more becuase I'm just in a really funky place. I really thought I'd be able to climb out of it by now, but here we are closing the second week of 2007 and I'm still in the funk. I don't have any logical reason to be here (which aggrevaites the snot out of me - although I'm very greatful for not having a reason), I just can't seem to kick these feelings to the curb. It's almost as if I have convinced myself that I don't deserve to be happy, but why?? There is no reason for me not to be happy and there is no reason for me to think I shouldn't be.

I ask that my friends pray for me and please have patience as I try to conquer these ugly thoughts that seem to be winning the emotional battle right now.

And the Knee Wins!!

2006-12-15T11:14:00.000-08:00

Ok - for those who haven't known me very long, I played soccer for many years, therefore my knees are way, way older than I am. That being said, I have been very fortunate and not had to deal with any knee surgery thus far, I'm afraid my success has just ended. I found out yesterday that I will most likely have to have knee surgery for my munisicus (I realize that isn't spelled correctly). I'm doing 4 weeks of physical therapy in an effort to avoid surgery, but if that doesn't work - I'll have to go under the knife. Oh well - I'll try to just take it in stride. The good news is that I can still walk (sort of) and that all of my tendons are intact.
On a much happier note - I finished school on Wednseday and have approximately four weeks break before I start again. I can see the end in sight and I'm very, very excited.

Just wanted to keep everyone updated. Hope all is going well for each of you.

Good Times, Good Friends

2006-11-19T14:22:00.000-08:00

Well, after a long semester (which still isn't quite finished) and some long overdue sleep. I was finally able to visit some friends and family yesterday. I feel very blessed to have old friends and family in my life that support my hopes and dreams and are very understanding about my long absences. It was shocked and ashamed to see how much I had missed. I couldn't believe some of the changes and major life stuff I had missed because my head was buried in school books and projects. THIS CAN'T GO ON!!!
As Thanksgiving approaches this coming week, I have been blessed to have wonderful opportunities, blessings, and supporting people in my life, for which I am very grateful. I received an email from a friend listing all the things she was thankful for - everything from wool socks to good friends and right on up to a God who loves her. It really made me think about how important the little things in life are - especially little moments.
So in honor of my dear friend, I will include a small list of things I am thankful for: Family, friends, favorite candle scent, the smell of Christmas trees, Mission trip friendships, new possibilities, the end of the semester, fireplaces, blankets, Ma's quilts, and advice from my parents. These are just a few of the things I'm grateful for - what are you grateful for?

Quick update

2006-10-07T11:42:00.000-07:00

Hey guys,

I don't have very long, but wanted to let everyone know I'm still alive and surviving school. Life has been interesting as always. Love me new job and am holding my own against the mountain of assignments from school. My sis is pregnant so that should be interesting, but exciting all at the sametime. Other than that, things are just clipping right along.

I'm really trying to take time to appreciate the life I have now and not always be looking into the future - it's not working out for me so far, but I'm trying.

Catch ya'll later -

School and New Job

2006-09-14T19:36:00.000-07:00

I realize that I haven't posted in a while. My apologies. School has started again, so I'm back to the grind of study, work, study, work, etc. I started my new job almost a month ago this week, and I really like it. It is more challenging, but I think I'm getting the hang of it. I really enjoy working at my own desk, etc. I've got another huge paper due this semester - something to research, I've narrowed down my choices. I'm torn between two topics 1) Adolescent Fatherhood or 2) How aggressive adolescent girls can be to one another. Any suggestions - I can't promise to take them, but any input will be appreciated and considered.

I hope that all is well with all of you - I'm sorry this update is so short, but school is calling.

Southern Rock...

2006-08-13T20:13:00.000-07:00

So, I stepped out on the wild side (read redneck side) of life this weekend and went to a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert. It fulfilled one of my dreams to hear "Sweet Home Alabama" live. Don't worry, those of you who are life long Skynyrd fans, I know the real Skynyrd is dead, but the show was still amazing. And I'll hopefully have pics soon to post, my sister has an amazing digital camera.

On a more professional note, I start my new job tomorrow. Prayers for a good start, great attitude and ability to pay attention would be greatly appreciated. I'll keep ya'll posted as I move through training.

Atlanta or Bust!!!

2006-07-23T19:44:00.000-07:00

Just returned from Atlanta with some friends. Great weekend. It was so nice to get out of the city and really only spend gas and food money (college buddies who let you crash are the best). I again had the pleasure of shopping at IKEA - the best furniture store ever. Imagine my disappointment when the table I have watched for months was "temporarily oversold." BOO HISS!!! That's all I have to say. Anyway, ate some amazing food and had a great time. Sometimes getting a little break from day-to-day life w/ a few close friends is just what we all need.

Yeah for good friends and good travels and new adventures!

I survived

2006-07-09T20:21:00.000-07:00

Well, another class down and a few more to go. I squeaked by yet again, so I'm currently still in Grad School and will survive hopefully yet another semester. So life has been kinda crazy yet again. I've got major thoughts, ideas, etc. running through my head - almost faster than I can commit to any of them. I've really been toying w/ the idea of a small group bible study. I'm not sure how well that would fly in my church group, but I may branch out and see. I figure the worst that will happen is it will flop - I've been there and done that before, so I'll survive if it doese. Any thoughts??

Adventures of the TV remote

2006-06-27T20:59:00.000-07:00

OK - most random thing happened today. I came home from work, made a quick outfit change and headed straight back out the door after speaking to my mother for a little bit. Went over to Karios (which was awesome), went to my car for my camera, only to find my TV remote sitting in the front seat. I don't understand how it got there or when it happened. I just think it is the funniest thing ever. I giggled all evening about that one. I just couldn't help but share the wild and crazy adventures of my remote!!

I'll update you about this past weekend soon. Gotta run for now -

Thanks for the prayers

2006-06-20T19:52:00.000-07:00

Hey all - I really appreciate the prayers sent up on my behalf. Sadly the position/opportunity went to someone else. So I'll just keep looking and try to stay positive. Thanks for the support.

Prayer Request

2006-06-16T14:37:00.000-07:00

I don't often make such a blatent request but:

Please pray that I get the job I interviewed for today.

I'm really excited about this new opportunity and what it could mean in my life. I spent quite a bit of time in prayer before I even decided to apply for the position, so hopefully everything will work out. I was told the staff hope to make their decision by Monday, so I'll keep ya'll posted.

Thanks!

Life, Death, Love & Loss

2006-05-31T21:27:00.000-07:00

I've heard it said many times before that life is not made up of big moments, but of all the little moments in between. I've also heard it said that memories are mostly of the bigger moments in life. I find that interesting and a bit confusing all at the same time. I have spent much of the last month thinking. Maybe it's because I had time for my brain to catch up w/ my life (being that I had a break from school and all) or maybe it's because life got to be too mundane to require my attention (yet another by product of no school). Whatever the reason, I have made some revelations, so I'll list/discuss them in no particular order.

I will be a groomsman in one of my best friend's weddings - where's Julia when I need her?

I have a job that I'm staying at, because I fear that no one else will hire me for just one year (the amount of time I have left in the classroom for my program). I realize I should be grateful to have a job and keep my mouth shut. I'm working on it.

I know that I have friends going through MAJOR life struggles and I have no answers for them. Scary considering that I'm going to be a counselor, but my most favorite method of counseling is letting the "client" figure out the solution. For when the "client" takes ownership of the issue/problem AND comes up with the solution, it is self-empowering for that "client". I think it frustrates my friends sometimes b/c I'm not quick with a response b/c I want them to work through it.

I have a wonderful job opportunity that I'm too scared to even notify the posting party about - because the logical side of my brain says no company will want to spend the time/money to train me if I'm going to be gone in a year anyway.

I'm generally a fan of the "When God shuts a door, He opens a window" philosophy, but what happens when I'm too scared to move? I'm standing in the middle of life watching windows and doors open and close and can't make a move out of fear. That in and of itself scares me more than anything. How in the world did I become such a chicken? When did that happen? What happened to bold, fearless, me? The me that would fly around the world to do VBS for people I didn't know and fall in love with complete strangers? The me that would spend a week in a foreign country building rooms that pass as houses for people that I would never truly understand in conversation? What happened to the part of me that could love period? How did I become so apathetic? Why can I cry for babies, hurricanes, tragedies, love, and death but I can't cry for myself? Why does that seem so selfish? Why is it wrong to cry for me, to cry for my hurts, my pains, my loves lost? Why?

After hearing a lesson yesterday on preparing during the down/quiet times of life, so that we may be ready for the chaos that life can sometimes bring. I prayed for God to reveal anything blocking my relationship with Him, and suddenly I'm bombarded with thoughts of the "creamed corn" incident. For those of you who might not know "creamed corn" is from BST, and is used to sum up things you just can't discuss b/c they are too personal, or too involved. Creamed corn came and went five years ago, why am I not passed it? Why can't I get over the "creamed corn" part of my life? I figured out I'm not done dealing with it, but what do you do, when you thought you were finished processing through something and yet it rears it's ugly head again? How do you move on (again)? Why can't I move passed this? Why am I stuck? I can't figure out why I keep coming back to this incident and why it has turned out to be so significant in my life. How did one little incident alter everything about me? I just don't understand.

I feel like I'm typing myself in circles, it's late and I need sleep. Tune in another time for more ramblings.

Birthdays and Half-Marathons

2006-05-03T16:26:00.000-07:00

Well, I did it. I celebrated my 25th birthday by completing the Country Music Half Marathon. Although I don't think I'll ever complete another half marathon, I can at least say that I've completed one - that's all that matters. I FINISHED!!!! Thanks to my sister Kel for walking/running along with me - gives a whole new meaning to that's what sisters are for!

I've learned alot in the last year, mainly about myself. It has been good. Although I'm still not done learning (I believe learning is a life-long venture), I feel much more confident about who I am and what I represent. I finally feel like I'm settling into myself - if that makes any sense.

6 days and counting

2006-04-16T19:03:00.000-07:00

I have six days before I close out the end of my third semester of graduate school. I'm still amazed that I have survived. I've got several projects to wrap up this week - so wish me luck. I've also got some an amazing friend who is hooking me up w/ tickets to this Friday's symphony!! Thanks B.L.!!! To many people this is no big deal; to me however, it is huge. I have a problem - no one can go with me. I have two tickets and no date!! I'm still working on this issue - but quickly becoming discouraged. I hope that I can find someone to go w/ me.

We had an absolutely amazing Celebration Sunday at church tonight. That is the third Sunday of the month when we all meet for Sunday evening praise and worship (the other Sunday's we are split up into small groups). It was great - I don’t' know if it was because it was Easter, if it was because it was the first Celebration in the new building, or because of stress, but a picture flashed up from our England trip and I started to cry. (Good pic Phil). I really don't quite know what it was, or if it matters. I know that I have changed so much b/c while I still felt the need to run and hide it wasn't as pressing. I just sat in the pew and cried sitting right next to a person I don't even know. To many people this is no big deal, for me who is not a crier, especially in public - it's kind of a big deal. I don’t' really know what it was, but I think I learned a little bit about myself tonight. I think I realized again how separated I am from the singles group and that I'm emotionally much healthier than I have been in the past. I realize that may seem like a contradiction of terms, but I know I will get closer to the singles group again as soon as school is out and I have more time. My emotional health however, has taken several months to recover. I'm really proud of the progress I've made.
I don't know why I'm so reflective today, maybe it’s the nature of wonderful spring days and time to think. Maybe it’s the fact that I'm procrastinating school assignments, maybe it’s because I finally feel like I can openly describe the emotions I'm feeling. I don’t' know - thanks for reading - sorry if I rambled, but that's kind of what I'm all about - southern rambling!! Have a great week

2 weeks to go....

2006-04-12T17:57:00.000-07:00

The title says it all. I have two weeks to go in this semester and I will have survived another semester of graduate school. I can't believe the things I'm learning, the rearranging of my priorities, and the fact that I have survived. I look back over the last few months and am amazed at what I have accomplished professionally, personally, and academically. It is nice to have this moment to recognize my success. I do however only have a moment b/c of final projects, meetings, work, etc. Life is never dull that is for sure, but at least I can take a few moments to smell the roses so to speak.

As I have been getting asked a few questions I will take a few moments to address my friends: It has been an interesting few months in the friend department as well. I have completely changed the group of friends I hang out, partly by choice, and partly by circumstance. It has been good for me though - I do miss my old friends and wish we had more in common, but also realize that right now we don't. It's sad, but true, some people will never be in our lives more than a few weeks or months - and that's ok. I love you and miss you all, but wish you the best.

On the same token, I'm closer to the people going through my graduate program, which is an amazing blessing, but having someone who understands the monumental tasks laid out before us at the beginning of the semester is a blessing. It has been a learning semester for me, very contemplative - which has been very healthy. I have loved what I have learned about myself, my friends (new and old), and I am excited about things yet to come.

I know that many of you have had a rough time the last few months, my apologies for not being able to support you the way I would have liked. I hope that you are well on the way to recovering or discovering whichever is appropriate for you to reach inner peace. Thank you for your support and love over the last year - it has meant more than words can say.

And life goes on...

2006-03-25T15:17:00.000-08:00

So I realize today I'm a fan of the titles with the three dots following. I'm sure there is some technical/grammatical name for those three dots, but I haven't a clue what they are called.
Anyway, totally not the point.

Things have been going remarkably well, which makes me feel bad b/c so many of my friends are struggling right now. That is why I haven't posted in a while, I don't want to seem like I'm rubbing my good fortune in their faces. I hope you all understand.

School is clipping along nicely I'm about 2/3 of the way finished with this semester. If I can make it through April I'm home free. Half-Marathon training is going well. I'm doing a 10 mile walk/run this week - wish me luck!! Work is getting crazier and crazier. We are preparing for inventory, setting up to move next door, and trying to gather our team for the new store. Let's just say no two days are the same and none are ever boring.

Just thought I'd update those of you keeping up. I'll write more later.

My thoughts and prayers are with my friends who are experiencing such difficulty right now. Much love is sent your way.

And the Oscar goes to....

2006-03-05T22:45:00.000-08:00

Not me! That is all I know. We (singles group) had a party for the Oscar's tonight. Most everyone was dressed up and looked fabulous!! I sadly had to work and arrived a fashionable 2 hours late and still dressed in work clothes. But I loved seeing everyone else all gussied up - I do have some very beautiful friends by the way. :-)

During mentioned Oscar's party it was brought to my attention that I haven't blogged in ages (although I hardly think 2 weeks constitutes ages - Vick). So I decided I would give a quick update - so here it goes.

School is going well - actually awesomely (if that is a word). Work is ok, but stress is mounting daily (opening two new stores in two months is hardwork). Life is ok, I'm trying to stay positive and focus on the brighter aspects. Other than that things are just moving right along.

I'm on Spring Break this week, so I may post a lot, I may not post at all - we'll see what strikes my fancy. Thanks for reading though.

Being a Moses??

2006-02-19T22:31:00.000-08:00

For those of you not attending church w/ me, let me give you a quick background. Today's sermon discussed the importance of being able to see the forrest through the trees so to speak. We focused on Exodus 18, where Moses is told by Jethro how to better manage his time. WOW - what a lesson is all I can say. I wondered as I sat in church, if I was a Moses, a bystander, or a Jethro. This has stayed w/ me all day and I'm still just a perplexed. My other thought is how do others see me? I know there are areas of my life in which I am a Moses, I also know I have been Jethro in the past.
I wonder if it is better to be one as opposed to the other? I get the impression from the lesson that neither is very good (at least at this moment in Moses' life). I also wonder which (if either) God would prefer?

I'm taking this class for grad school entitled Pre-Practicum for School Counselors. Really they should change the title to therapy/self-reflection practice. I'm freaking out w/ what I'm learning about myself. Basically the whole point of the course is for growth as an individual, in hopes of being able to better serve future clients. I'm all for spurring others on to grow - but I don't know if I'm ready myself. Here's what I know so far:
1) My trust was shattered by someone very close to me and although I thought I was over it, I'm not.
2) I pretend or fake it a whole lot more than I should, even around those I trust.
3) I have some confidence problems in myself and in my ability to relate to others.

On a good note, I have discovered how empathetic I am towards other people. It is just nice to at least have some redeeming quality. The remainder of the semester should be interesting, especially to see what I learn about myself.

I guess this big long post was just to say, please bear w/ me as I travel down the long road of self discovery right now.

Time Management...Valentine's Day :-(

2006-02-14T20:07:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I dropped out of many of the activities I was involved w/ last semester. I'm very excited about having the time to actually focus on my graduate school classes and believe it or not I'm actually getting something out of them. But riddle me this batman.....why do I feel like I'm not busy enough? Do I have some kind of disorder that requires me to be going 90 to nothing before I feel accomplished? Where did this come from??
On an entirely separate note, I have a friend who I have recently discovered has been saying very unflattering things about me. Others (whom I trust) have come to me for verification and clarification. Amazing what you learn about a person, when they talk about you behind your back. I'm really perplexed as to what I should do about this, there is a very large part of me that says forget it, there is another part that doesn't want to just let it go. Pray for me that I make the right decision - whatever it is.
We have moved church buildings, and let me tell you how absolutely amazing church was in the new building. Even though we are meeting in the gym together, for the first time since I attended the OC we had church in one service (on a non-holiday Sunday)!! AMAZING is the only word for the sight of people crammed into the gym, the singing, and the fellowship. I feel so blessed to attend such a loving congregation.
Valentine's Day - still single - not such a good day. I really, really tried to convince myself that this was just any other Tuesday, but who was I kidding!! Red, pink, & white balloons, napkins, tablecloths, etc. seemed to follow me everywhere I went. I really did ok until tonight when I realized that I have spent another year of my life w/o having a significant other. 365 days of not having someone to call when I was excited, sad, bored, stressed, tired, etc. 365 days of not having a shoulder to cry on, someone to hug me and tell me it would be ok. 365 days of not having someone to simply share my life with - SUCKS!!!
Ok - I'm done whining for the moment - I have graduate school assignments I must catch up on. I guess that is one good thing about school - it doesn't allow me time for a pity party. Yeah for school - I guess.

Ahhh the Symphony

2006-01-28T13:36:00.000-08:00

Well friends, I had the wonderful opportunity to attend the Nashville Symphony's celebration of Mozart's 250th birthday. It was amazing. Not only did I get to spend a wonderful evening with a new friend, I also got to hear some of the greatest music.

Part of my amazement is probably b/c I haven't had the chance to see the symphony in the last five + years, and part of it is b/c they had a wonderful pianist accompanying them. He was fabulous. I envy his abilities. It also made me miss playing the piano desperately. I'm really looking into getting a keyboard for right now. At least that would be a good fix for now.

Change is in the Air & 2005 recap

2006-01-21T16:43:00.000-08:00

Ok - I realize I have been away from the blogging world FOREVER (really only 2 months)!! Sorry - but life sometimes gets ahead of me. So let me give a quick recap and then I can freely ramble (which I love to do anyway).

Thanksgiving and Christmas were wonderful times spent w/ family and friends.
The new job is going very well - much LESS stress - I love it.
I have returned to church following a break at the end of last year.

All things considered 2005 was an amazing year. I think I learned more about myself than I thought possible in one year. Things I learned:

Foriegn travel is amazing.
I love England and Loughbourgh.
I can have trouble saying no, but when I do it is liberating.
I HATE to hurt people.
I can survive heartache and heartbreak.
Standing up for myself is not bitchy or rude - it is all in delivery.
Even your closests friends will betray confidences sometimes.
Old friends can pick up right were the relationship left off. :-)
It's ok to ask for help.
It's ok to need to be loved.

I'm still working on a list, but man I made it through alot this year. I'm excited about the adventures I will take on this year. My first order of business was to simplify my life. I have cut out almost all activities. I figured I'd cut everything out and start rebuilding w/ a clean slate. So far I have quit working 2 jobs (I'm down to just one now), left the NYSA board, decreased my stress level, increased my workouts and time spent on myself, and I'm focusing more on school. To help w/ that I have moved into an apartment alone closer to school, but still close to friends.

Since school starts back Monday my blogging will probably become more regular again. Thanks for reading. I hope you have a wonderful 2006!!!

England - Sunday - Travel Home

2005-11-09T13:56:00.000-08:00

Sunday we took three cabs from the hotel to the airport. I got a little carsick on the way and nearly puked everywhere. After arriving at the airport we made it through check in and had time to wait and do some final shopping. I picked up some chocolate for my family. Heathrow is a really nice airport. The flight coming home was FOREVER - probably because we were trying to stay awake, but still - it seemed to take a million years. We landed in Chicago, got through customs (which was an experience, but nothing like getting into London), and then had time to wait again.
Our flight weighed too much so some of us volunteered to stay behind, we all made it on except Bart. Don't worry, he was compensated very nicely from the airline. The big joke was that Michelle's luggage took Bart's place on the way home. I had the chance to sit and visit w/ Dan on the flight back to Nashville. It was great. I really value the new friends I have b/c of this trip. It is wonderful. Mel's parents met me at the airport w/ my keys along w/ some of our friends from church. That was great to come home to a welcoming committee so to speak.
I feel so blessed to have had this opportunity and I thank God he provided for us all while we were there. The people of the L'boro congregation will always hold a special place in my heart as will all my England Teammates.

England - Saturday - London

2005-11-09T13:44:00.000-08:00

Sleeping in was wonderful - my body very much needed it. I slept until 9:30 and then got ready and headed over to Portobello Rd w/ LB for some market shopping. It was great, not just becuase its from one of my all time favorite movies (Bedknobs & Broomsticks) either, but mainly becuase it was fun to look at all the different little shops. LB & I ran into Vick, did a little more shopping and then headed for the London Eye.
The London Eye (a giant ferris wheel basically) was AMAZING!! You can see so many things. It was a really good day to go, even though it was a bit overcast, you could still see quite a bit.
I spent the afternoon w/ one of my teammates - shopping, sightseeing, eating lunch, and just hanging out. It was great - I'm very glad that we were able to spend that time alone to get to know one another better. It was a very pleasureable afternoon. My one saddness for the afternoon was that I never made it to LUSH - the bath store. It is really cool, but that just means I have to come back to London again sometime. We ended our afternoon w/ a walk through Hyde Park and ran across some Englishmen playing football (soccer). I stopped, sat under a tree, and watched for a good long while. I got some amazing pics. It was great. We went back towards the hotel and split to do some chessy soveinour shopping. This afternoon will probably be one of my favorite memories from the entire trip.
So much happened Saturday night, I had some very much needed conversations w/ people on the trip and really started processing through some of the gloomy feelings that have been w/ me the whole time. I think these conversations will be a new starting point for me. We'll see what happens when we get home. I've got to change some things in my life that is for sure - starting w/ making me a priority.

England - Friday - back to London

2005-11-09T13:08:00.000-08:00

I got up way too early this morning, but I guess the rest of the team did as well. Could make for an interesting day. Jason took us (Les and I) to the train station this morning where we met up w/ everybody else. I have two words for you - Curses Michelle!! Her few bags we were supposed to bring back are huge and way heavy!!! I can't imagine living in another country for five years and then coming back to the US, but holy cow her stuff is heavy. I'm pretty sure the guys are going to kill her on sight when we get to Nashville! We caught the train w/ little to no problems. We actually stayed on the same train instead of changing so it made things much, much easier. We had an uneventful ride into London - which is what we all needed for so early in the morning. I rode w/ Tracey, Angie, & Tiffany. We all journaled talked, finished primping for the day, etc. It was very nice. I got to bond a little w/ Angie too - I'm really going to miss her when we get home. After we got to London things got a little complicated (as they often do when traveling in a large group). Some people took Michelles monster bags and took cabs to the hotel. The rest of us took the tube to the hotel. As we were walking to the tube station we ran across Platform 9 3/4 - Yep that's right - there are pictures of me at Platform 9 3/4!!! I couldn't believe it - it was great. Those of us on the train had to change trains a few times, but we eventually made it to Bayswater (the tube stop for our hotel in London). By the time we got off the tube I was pouring sweat. Exactly how I wanted to walk around London for the day - but we made it to the hotel and I used a hair dryer to attempt to do something w/ my hair. It actually didn't do too badly, but I still wish I'd had time to shower. OH well - who cares - I was finally in London!!!
Friday was probably the longest afternoon EVER! We did so many things. We were starving, but needed to sight see on the way to lunch. We went to Buckingham Palace, where we were able to see some "minor members of the royal family" go through the gates in carriages. We then headed to Leicester Square for lunch at the world famous Wagamama. It totally lived up to the name - I loved it. Les' cousin from NYC was able to meet us for lunch as he is studying abroad w/ one of the universities. He is great, so polite and kind. Thanks for lunch Ben!! From there Tiff, Ang, and I went to get Ang's Les Mis ticket - thank goodness we did, cause the production had changed theaters. Better to find out now than tonight when we might be running late. From the ticket booth we met back up w/ everything in Leiscester Square and headed for the Tower of London. Somewhere between the Square and the Tower my mood changed drastically. I was done - I became very withdrawn and quite - almost depressed. I've been struggling/fighting these feelings since Wednesday night and really though the alone time at Chadsworth would have cured it, but I guess not. By the time we got the the Tower of London all I wasnted to do was curl up in a ball and cry. Instead I sucked it up and put on a semi-brave face to go through the tour of the tower. I wish I had been in a better mood b/c it is full of history(which I love), but there was no shaking the gloomy mood that had come over me. I did walk through the crown jewel exhibit which was beautiful - but you can't take pics so I'm really glad I went through. After that Mel, Bart, Chris and myself were ready to head for the hotel and some quiet time. We went to find the exit and stubbled upon the tower bridge. I got really excited and started skipping which I haven't done since I was little. It was really funny. We took some great pictures so I can't wait to see those. We ran into Angie & LB who were leaving too so we all headed back to Bayswater.
I was very, very glad for the alone time when we returned from the hotel. It was great. I laid out my outfit for our big Les Mis and dinner outing tonight. Took my time getting ready. LB and I ended up rooming together cause Vick and Les weren't back yet. Getting to Les Mis was such a headache. Our group can't be on time if our lives depended on it - even though some of the tardiness wasn't our fault, it still kind sucked. So most of the group left for the production, got to the tube station in a single file, wave of people and got on the train. I was towards the back and Mel didn't make it through the turnstile - she had grabbed the wrong tube ticket. While waiting on her to get that sorted out the rest of the group left us. So it ended up Mel, Bart, Dan, and myself were going to the show on our own. Unfortunately the tube line we were on had problems and we got delayed just enough that we were late. I really, really did OK until my watch hit 7:30p (show start time) and then I started to cry. I just knew in my heart of hearts that they wouldn't let us in b/c we were late. I would have been ok, but my favorite parts of Les Mis are the opening scenes and first couple of songs. When we finally made it to the right tube stop and got off - we ran right into LB, who apparently got split off from the other group. So all five of us showed up about 25-30 minutes late. They did let us in to the theater which I was very greatful for. The show was OK, but not the best performance I've seen. Part of it could have been I was too drained to get into the show, I never really emotional engaged in the show, but it was alright. It was great to talk to Bart and Tracey during intermission though.
After the show we went to eat at this amazing Lebanese resturant. It was priceless and wonderful. Dinner took three hours becuase it comes out course by course - it was so great to have that time to visit and joke w/ everyone, but we were exhausted. When we finally finished around 1 am - we took the buses back to the hotel. The food was something I would never have eaten at home and I'm so glad I could share this experience w/ my team. Tomorrow is another full day of sight-seeing and shopping, but first I'm going to sleep late!!

England - Thursday - Chadsworth

2005-11-08T15:17:00.000-08:00

Chadsworth is BEAUTIFUL!! The house is full of all kinds of history (British of course). It is so ornate - I love it. I can't imagine living during a time when things were that big and extravagant. The art work is amazing inside the house. It is someplace you could come and go through several times to read and learn everything. We had lunch at the stables restaurant - it was so good. I had a scone w/ clotted cream for the first time and I even put jam on it. It was amazingly delightful.
We all spent the afternoon going through the gardens. I spent a majority of the day w/ Mel and Bart - it was great. I took some great pictures of flowers - I can't wait to see how they turn out. I love my new camera. I'm very, very, very glad I spent the money to get it.
After Chadworth we went back to L'boro church and had some quiet time. I went down to the store to get water and coke and came back. The group had decided we should have fish & chips for dinner, so they kindly ordered chicken for me. I do love my group - they are so caring and considerate. They couldn't get it boneless, so I had to pull the meat off the bone. I did OK except it took me forever b/c I got really queasy a few times and had to walk away. We were eating in the back room of the church and Kinsey was having a rough evening (she's four after all). She got a bit better and wanted chicken, but I had finished mine, so Mel passed her remaining chicken to Sheryl, sadly she ended up showing me all the bones on the under side. I immediately went pale and started getting sick. I ended up getting sick and pretty much parted w/ most of my dinner. It was OK, even comical, except it made me cry - which I hate.
I came back to dinner and tried to finish my chips (French fries), just so I'd have something in my stomach. Then did the dishes until Bart started making fun of me - so I let him finish the dishes.
We had a game night w/ the young adults. It was great, but I was exhausted and all I wanted to do is go to bed. I tried to be engaged, but it was very difficult. We finally left for home around 10:30p. Paul took us home and it was wonderful to spend that quiet time w/ him and his girls. They are a wild bunch for sure. Les and I laughed and talked w/ them the whole time. I will truly miss this part of the trip - just spending the time w/ the members of the congregation. When Les and I arrived home both Jason and Debbie were still awake to thank us for the books we had gotten for the kids. Both kids really liked them. We talked about Chadsworth and then how excited we were about London. We didn't get to bed until nearly 2 am and tomorrow we have to be AT the train station at 7ish. It's going to be a long day tomorrow!!

England - Wednesday - HBC 3

2005-11-08T15:05:00.000-08:00

HBC closed today. It was great!! The kids had so much fun - which is really what matters. I really hope that we have made a difference in the kids lives. The women who washes Jesus feet lesson did not go well in talk time today, but we had fun singing wonderful songs that remind us of the love of Jesus. So all in all I suppose it still served its purpose.
After lunch the group split up, some went to a nursing home/assisted living facility to visit w/ the residents, while the rest of us stayed behind to do some organizing and cleaning at the church building. Some of the things we found were gross, some disgusting, but many more were amazing. The amount of history represented is phenomenal to me. I worked w/ Les, Mel, Vick, Dan and Bart to get the cabinets finished. Some of the conversations were hysterical - we are all very tired. It was great to have serious conversations w/ a few group members too. It was nice for them to share their observations w/ me - I truly appreciated their kind words.
Wednesday night was church. Phil lead an awesome discussion in which many of the home congregation participated. What a wonderful thing to witness the interaction! The singing was pretty good - one of the older couples from the congregation requested this absolutely great hymn. (I have no idea which one, but it was priceless). It had this really high soprano part - it was great b/c all the American girls stopped singing and looked down the row to our "all star soprano" Tracey. Sadly she figured out we had all dropped out and was a little intimidated, so she backed off, but it was still amazing.
After church Jason (our host dad) was nice enough to take Les and I over to Mark's to use the computer. Sadly it has gotten a virus, so I will truly be out of touch for the entire 10 days I'm gone. Oh well - maybe it is for the better anyway. This way I have no distractions, thankfully.

England - Tuesday - HBC 2

2005-11-07T15:16:00.000-08:00

HBC went much better today as far as talk time is concerned. The rest was about the same. I'm thinking of re-writing tomorrow's talk time to be a more interactive story like today's - the kids really got into all the sounds and animation. We told the story of Gideon using actions, motions, and sound effects such as "flap, flap" for the angel and "squelch, squelch" for winepress. It was really cool to watch the kids get into it.
I took some time right after lunch today to go out alone - well nearly alone-Mel came w/ me. But since we live together and are pretty much used to sharing our quiet time it wasn't a big deal. I had to go change more cash and was in need of fizzy water - my new favorite drink. It's like seltzer water BUT so much better. It is less carbonated so it is smoother, if that makes any sense at all.
Tonight we spent w/ the Young Adults. It was great. They are very much a group of observers so it was interesting to listen to some of them come out of their shells a bit. I hope that we are making some difference in their lives w/o imposing too much of our own thoughts. This is actually a topic Bart and I spent some time discussing tonight. The singing has been WONDERFUL - much better than I thought it would be. I was worried before we left, to be honest, but it continuous to improve.
We also visited Bradgate Park - home of Lady Jane Grey. We took some pictures, it was so very English. Dark, overcast sky, brisk wind, and just a dull day. It was wonderful. I could very much move to this country. We also visited an abbey today. We all took some great pictures, so I'm very excited to get home and get them back.
On a personal note: I've been dealing w/ a lot of different things in my personal life and it is getting harder and harder to keep my emotions in check while I'm here. I'm having to fight back tears more often than I'd like, and my stress level has started to show to other members of the group. I have to constantly remind myself that I must keep it together - we are NOT here for ourselves, but for the wonderful members of this congregation. I hope I can keep it together for the remainder of the week.

England -Monday - HBC

2005-11-02T08:11:00.000-08:00

HBC was AWESOME!! The kids are so cute. We have a bunch of wild little boys - much love to lunatic Lew and pscyho Sam (nicknames given by the children themselves). Talk time - the part of HBC that I'm in charge of - totally flopped today w/ the little kids. It went a little better w/ the oldren ones. I really hope that tomorrows more interactive story will go a bit better.
After HBC, we did a walking tour and some shopping in Loughbourgh today. They have this amazing shoe shop that I'm going to try to get sexy shoes at for London. We'll see what happens.
We had women's bible study tonight at the church. Can I just tell you how wonderful Sheryl Wilson is - she did a great job. And Tracey Dean - holy cow can the girl sing. It was beautiful. The lesson was on the woman at the well and Jesus. The ladies of L'boro really had some good discussions following the story. I feel so lucky to get to be on a trip w/ such amazing women, only to go meet more amazing women.
My favorite moment: At the end of the Bible Study some ladies requested to sing more songs - Kinsey climbed up in my lap to sit. She ended up holding the song book and sang alone to the tune, even though she can't read the words. It was 'ohs' 'ums' and 'uhs' but is was ADORABLE!! It was absolutely precious. I nearly started to cry.

England - Sunday

2005-11-02T08:03:00.000-08:00

Eleven and a half hours of sleep - Praise the Lord!!! I would have gotten more, but it was extremely necessary to shower prior to church - two days of travel funk washed away. Bless running water. Les and I are staying together w/ Jason & Debbie Hill and their two children Calum and Loren. They are really sweet and have opened their home and lives to us both. The kids are adorable and were very excited when we arrived last night.
Church was a million miles away from Otter Creek. It reminded me of attending church w/ my grandmother in small town Middle Tennesse, except that Bart was doing the song leading. Following service we had a potluck fellowship luncheon. This congregation can cook - that is all I have to say. After lunch we spent the day preparing for Holiday Bible Club (Vacation Bible School). I painted the "time shed door" and helped w/ the back drop. It was good.
We had evening service and then went home w/ our respective hosts for another good night of sleep.

Next Chapter Please

2005-10-31T07:38:00.000-08:00

I realize I'm not done talking about my trip to England, for that I'm sorry - I've been a little swamped lately. I do have great news - I will be turning in my resignation at my current employer in just a few hours. I have been offered another position elsewhere with a higher pay scale.

I'm personally very excited about moving on and leaving behind this chapter of my life. It is all part of my focus on me plan started several months ago. Going to England was the first major step, this is step number two. I never dreamed it would come so quickly on the heals of the first.

Thank you all for your love and support during this crazy time, especially my England Team. I never would have made it without you guys! :-)

England - Day 1 - Travel

2005-10-26T13:02:00.000-07:00

Well, after working half a day at my office, I left for the airport. Big thanks to friend's parents for taking my car home from the airport and car-sitting for the week. Checking in at the airport was fairly painless considering there were 13 of us to check in. I tried to stay awake until we took off from Chicago. Sleeping on a plan stinks!!! We were all supposed to sit together, then ended up spread out all over the plane. One of our teammates ended up sitting all alone. The rest of us were sitting in the middle section, but still several rows apart. Oh well - we wanted to sleep most of the way anyway.

Sleep escaped many of us. I think we all got at least 45 minutes, and some got lots more, but it wasn't exactly restful sleep. We will survive!

Getting off in London was ok. My knees were killing me - I actually started crying b/c they hurt so badly. Going through passport control at Heathrow is a great story - if you wanna know just ask - it would have been funny if I wasn't exhausted and in quiet a bit of pain. I survived that is all that matters.

We made a dash for the train and made it. We were spread out all over the train which gave us a needed breather before we embarked on a mission experience that is sure to be amazing.

Home Sweet Home

2005-10-24T17:57:00.000-07:00

I have safely returned from England, along w/ the rest of my teammates. We had an amazing time and each have loads of stories to share - not to mention pictures. There is something so nice about coming home to sleep in my own bed (I'm so glad I got a new mattress a few months ago), clean sheets, and simply my own apartment. It was lovely.

I promise to post most of my journal from the trip (some parts are not for all to see) as soon as I can. I have class this weekend and must get some projects completed before I can rejoin the blogging world. I promise I'll return.

Thanks for prayers and well wishes - I feel blessed by it all.

Procrastination

2005-10-04T17:36:00.000-07:00

Can I just get an Amen for procrastination? I really try to be on top of assignments, projects, meetings, etc. But is seems that I do my best work under pressure. I don't know if that has something to do w/ my lack of spare time and generally I have is time under pressure. I've been completing school this way for so long now, I don't think I can do it any other way. Kind of scary, huh?

Its kind of scary but I'm about halfway done with my assignments due on Saturday and it is only Tuesday. I'm starting to scare myself!! Maybe this is get it done early mentality can be part of the new me I'm working on. For those of you who don't know (which should be pretty much everybody - cause I haven't told a soul) I've decided to take time to focus on me. I turned in my notice to soccer that I will be on sabbatical through the Thanksgiving Holiday at which time I will re-evaluate my involvement with them.

In other news, I've decided to stay at my current employer and position. Mainly because I will not find another position with the flexibility, pay, and insurance that I have with this one. The insurance is something I can't live without right now, I should be released from the specialists care in another year or so. Oddly enough, as much as I wanted to leave two weeks ago, I'm at peace with the realization I have to stay. It is almost as if God is telling me, "No, you can't go yet. You're not finished there."

As for my lack of relationships w/ boys right now. I've resigned myself to the fact that I can't do anything about it. I'm working on me, improving me, and that is all I can do. Thankfully I have wonderful friends and a family who loves me. I'm pretty happy with that - everything else will come when the time is right. And in all reality, do I really have time to start a new relationship, the answer is NO. I would love to, because I so crave the cuddling, hugging, and hand holding that come along w/ a dating relationship, but I couldn't be emotionally invested right now. At least I don't think I could. I don't really know. I pray that God will grant me wisdom, patience, and peace in this area of my life.

Exciting Times

2005-10-02T21:50:00.000-07:00

Well, many things are up in the air right now. I still haven't made a decision as to my career situation. At this point I have made tentative phone calls, and emails expressing interest, but nothing yet. I did start my substitute teaching application, but it will have to wait until after my England trip for sure. In the next 6 days I have to prepare for an 8 hour class on Saturday, I have board meeting on Monday, England meeting on Tuesday, Wednesday is church (maybe) & study, Thursday is Study, Friday is study and final project prep. Saturday is class - I have to be at school by 7:45am!! For those of you who know me - you can realize exactly how amazing it is that I can make it to class. I am also working two jobs right now (still) in order to be comfortable - it sucks, but it is the price I have to pay (no pun intended).

I'm getting really excited about our England trip. I can't believe I'll be in London in 12 days!!! It's amazing.

I did something today I'm very proud of - I had enough courage to ask someone that I've been interested in for a while, if they were in fact interested in someone else. Sadly the answer is yes, he is interested in someone else. :-( BUT I at least had the nerve to ask, and now I know. "And knowing is half the battle" - Thanks GI Joe. I suppose it will make things better in the end, but that doesn't take any of the hurt away for now. I will survive - I am incredibly proud of myself for having enough guts to ask. Hopefully he and I can continue to be friends and that is it.

What a difference a (few) days make

2005-09-19T15:16:00.000-07:00

Ok so its really more like three weeks, but days just sounds better. I have survived!! It is a nice feeling.

I'm in a very odd place in life right now. A major crossroads if you will. I have many options before me for lots of different areas, but they all seem to lead back to school. Option 1) Continue to work full-time while attempting to get my Master's Degree in School Counseling - if continued on this path, as my courses are laid out right now, it will be Dec. '08 before I graduate. That seems like FOREVER away. Option 2) Quit working a full time job, take out a private health insurance policy (insurance is the only reason I have cont'd working), and become a substitute teacher.

I'm seriously leaning towards option two. It makes no logical sense, but it feels right. On top of all of this, I have a car payment to start thinking about. I really feel like I'll be well taken care of if I just step out faith. It is so incredibly scary.

I am by nature a planner. At least when it comes to my personal life - I knew I would go to school, I knew it would be away from Knoxville, I knew I would start working immediately after graduation for at least one year and then go back to school for my master's. I'm just a planner. That's about all I can say.

I think this is the first of many leaps of faith that will be placed before me in the next few weeks. I'm anxious to see how the mission trip to England will unfold. I know we are going to help the children/youth of the church in England, but I also know from past experience that the "missionaries" are often more moved/changed than mission itself.

I had my first Saturday Graduate class this past weekend. For those of you who don't know, that means I sat in class from 7:30 am until 4:45pm Saturday, with about 45 minutes for lunch. It was long and hard, but I kind of like that version of class. We'll see how well I did on my test later. All that explanation just to say, my teacher made some comments that have really stuck w/ me for a few days. That is rare especially considering how tired I was from serious lack of sleep. Anyway, she spoke on seizing the opportunities before us, and that more often than not there will be more people presenting the reasons the opportunity is wrong than there will be supporting opportunity and my decision.

I think that is the attitude I'm taking w/ the whole job/employment finishing school issue. I want to be done w/ school. If I can finish sooner, that is better deal than anything else right now.

Any thoughts??

All Grown Up....yet still trapped in middle school

2005-09-05T01:32:00.000-07:00

Well, I have taken one more step into adulthood this past week. I bought my first car!!! This is huge for people who know me and my family, I am very excited about it. Its a 2002 Nissan Sentra - it is adorable and I love it. This was a huge step in my independence, I picked out the car, and went through the whole car buying experience all by myself w/o my parents being here in town. I did talk to them on the phone, but basically I did it all on my own.

That is my exciting news. I now have a more emotional matter to discuss. I have a friend who blatantly persues any guys that I show or mention interest in. At first I didn't realize this tread was taking place, but conveniently after I have expressed my interest, my friend ends up meeting them for dinner, drinks, or just to chat !!! I was ok w/ it considering we were all becoming friends around the same time, until I noticed the distinct pattern of her behavior. This time she has gone entirely too far w/ this little game that she plays. I'm at a huge crossroads. Do I tell the guy about her game (and risk looking like the jealous girl)? Do I keep my mouth shut? Do I tell her how hurt and angry I am (not that she would care - proven by her actions)? We have this huge trip coming up, and I'm very much afraid she is compromising the integrity and purpose of the trip. Does that sound entirely foolish b/c I was interested in the guy? I worry about the effect this will have on my friendship w/ the guy - b/c I am becoming friends w/ him - dispite her attempts not to let that happen. I'm afraid that this will be like a dark Eeyore cloud that hangs over me on the trip. I don't want that to happen - but don't know a way to prevent it.

I hate how vindictive and mean she has been to me. I hate that she is deliberately going after the guy she knows I'm interested in. I hate that they have a short-lived past experience, and therefore already have history. Most of all I hate how middle school my adult life has become!!! Why falling in love be in real life, like it is in the movies....Boy meets girl, boy flirts w/ girl, boy asks girl out, they fall madly in love, date for an appropriate length of time, and stay together forever. Why must it be so complicated???

boys boys boys

2005-08-01T16:47:00.000-07:00

I have been stood up for the first time in a long time tonight, by someone that I thought was becoming a very good friend. I'm a little sad and disheartened by the whole thing, mainly because I thought I had gotten past the whole 'stand her up w/o a phone call' routine. I guess not. I hold out hope somewhere deep inside that something happened that has prevented by friend from contacting me - what that could be I don't know.

I'm really kind of over the whole dating scene - I just don't like it. I want to meet a guy, hit it off, fall in love, and be done. Is that too much to ask? Apparently it is, cause my life sure ain't working out that way. I think I'm just mad, irritated, frustrated, and most of all hurt right now. Funny how something I wasn't trying to put a whole lot of emphasis on (outing w/ friend)has had such a negative pull on my emotions. Oh well - I guess that is part of being human.

60+ hours a week

2005-07-25T13:19:00.000-07:00

Wow - I love money!!!! Actually I hate the fact that my life right now is pretty much ruled by money. I have bills to pay, money to raise for England, an attempted social life (which requires money), and school books to purchase. Money is so much FUN!!! So in an effort to increase the amount of green in my wallet and hopefully pad by bank account (for the first time in a very long time) I will be taking a second job.

The good news about my job is it is very close to my apartment, so when I'm pushing exhaustion I don't have to worry about driving across town. I'm working at an Arts and Crafts supply place, so I at least know what I'm dealing with. The manager who I will be working under seems very energetic and fun - so hopefully it will add up to a good experience.

One semester in college I worked 4 different jobs, took a full load of courses, and still had some semblence of a life. I don't EVER want to do that again. Hopefully this will be a short lived stint, until I get caught up and then get ahead. This job will provide me my spending money for England I hope. The pay isn't great, but I've had worse. I just hope the people are OK - co-workers can make any work experience awful - no matter how great the job/company.

Wish me luck on my new adventure. FYI - this means to those of you I'm close to - I will probably be dropping off the radar for awhile. I will resurface - I promise.

As Life goes on...

2005-07-19T12:07:00.000-07:00

Well, Harry Potter book six has been released. I'm slowly making my way through its pages. I avoided the whole HP scene when it first emerged, but I must admit, I really love the stories now. Anyway - life is going on.

I have laid out my school schedule for the remainder of my graduate work. I wonder if God ever laughs at us for planning the future? I have decided to take a part time job to increase money and pay some bills off. I'm not really excited about this option, but my chosen career is not exactly rollin' in the dough, if you know what I mean.

I'm finally getting excited about my upcoming trip to England. We are going to a small little town called Loughbourgh, right in the middle of England. I'm hoping that as the trip gets closer our group w/ begin working more smoothly. Right now we are sort of all over the map. I guess that is normal for any mission team. At least we are trying to cover all our basis and do as much prep work before the trip as possible.

I'm currently watching "When Harry Met Sally" one of my all time favorite movies. It's during the dark time, when they aren't really friends or dating or anything. She tells him, "I am not your consoliation prize." How can you not love this movie? It has everything you ever need in a movie. I wonder if Billy Crystal really runs that way 0- it looks funny from behind.

I'm obviously rambling so I must go - until next time.

Life is just crazy sometimes

2005-07-11T22:13:00.000-07:00

Ok - so I fell off the face of the earth for awhile. No worries - I'm doing fine. Life just gets a bit crazy sometimes and something had to give. Unfortunately it was my blog. My apologies to the few loyal readers I have. My friends will never cease to amaze me I think. We have a pretty tight circle in which we run - it is nice because I haven't been part of a group this large since high school. It is nice to belong and have lots of friends again. Wow - I sound like a freakin' PBS commercial - shoot me now!!! However with cirlces of friends sometimes comes drama. We have had our fair share over the last couple of weeks. I always think its funny that spending too much time together just fuels drama even more. The trip to England in October could be interesting. Our group leaders (who are two of my closests friends) wanted to start meeting weekly from now until we leave - the group has vetoed that - not because we don't think it necessary, but because we are afraid of getting on each others nerves. Now, one of the leaders posed this question to me, "wouldn't you rather the irritation happened here, before we left, then when we are over there?" I don't guess I had ever thought of it that way, but it makes sense. I dont' know which is better, any thoughts?

I'm starting to get really excited about Team England (original I know) - the mission team from church that I'll be a part of this fall. It is becoming a reality for me, not just a concept. I've got to get my passport!!! I think about it once a week or so, then forget. Maybe I can do that this week!!! That should be my goal for the week - to get my passport application filled and paid for by Saturday afternoon. That's five days from now. Maybe I can make it happen.

Cars Stink!!!

2005-06-13T14:21:00.000-07:00

I have had quiet a time with my car lately. First it was the spark plugs and wires, which my dad took and had replaced so they are brand new. Can I have an AMEN for daddy's by the way??? I got back in town Monday and on Thursday my car started over heating. So I ended up having to replaced the radiator. OUCH on the wallet. Then the very next day (Friday) a tractor trailor truck tire shred off its weel bed a few cars in front of me. The first car missed it, second one ran over it and popped it up right in front of me - there was nothing I could do it was morning rush hour and no lane to swerve into b/c of traffic. It ended up shattering my head light. Thankfully that was all - but that was more money into my car. Then, Thursday of the next week, it started over heating again (after the car shop had closed of course), so I took it in on Friday. Now my water pump and timing belt are messed up.

So today is Monday, I've taken the day off work to have my car fixed. While it has been nice to accomplish many little projects - I don't like not having my car. Oh well - hopefully it will be finished this afternoon, although they just called and asked if I was planning on having it back today. That is probably not a good sign.

Now that my brain has returned

2005-05-24T23:54:00.000-07:00

I feel that I am back to normal again. Late nights and too many thoughts are sometimes ( more often than not) a dangerous combination (hence my last post). I thought today we'd look at the wonderful phrase, "nunya" as in None of Your Business. I think I first heard this phrase and understood its meaning in my grandmother's kitchen. I have wonderful memeories of conversations that have taken place over the years in Granny's kitchen. Nunya - was first introduced to me by my aunt, the same one who introduced Yonder to some Brits at the beach.

It makes me giggle whenever I hear it b/c it takes me straight back to Granny's kitchen. Does anyone else have phrases that just upon hearing, you are transported back to some other time and place in life?

Some things will never cease to amaze me

2005-05-15T00:13:00.000-07:00

I'm taking on a different topic - no witty southern sayings to ramble on tonight. It absolutely amazes me how curious some people are (myself included) and how quick we are to pass judgment on a situation we know nothing about. One of the hardest things I have learned is that it is not wise to comment on a situation when all sides are not known. It is so incredibly difficult not to comment or pass judgment, but it is often best. One should always be aware of the company surrounding them, for one never knows how a comment will effect others. I will admit, I struggle with keeping my mouth shut at times, but it is something I'm working on and something I hope to keep improving.

I don't think I'm the only person who struggles w/ this. At church tonight, a friend of mine read a passage from Galatians, it fall just before the list of the Fruits of the Spirit. I don't know that I have ever really paid attention to the verses that come before the list. It has left me very thoughtful, to say the least.

Boy am I bushed

2005-05-10T22:37:00.000-07:00

Yet another random saying used often in the South. Really - what does this mean?

Ok - I actually have nothing on this one. Can I just tell you, I watched a sneak preview of the new Will Ferrell movie tonight - it is actually pretty cute. Of course I love it because it has to do w/ soccer. I went to see it w/ a bunch of the families from NYSA. I have to admit, I actually do have fun w/ all of the kids. They do say the darndest things.

At what point do adults gain the self-control and self-preservation skills that allow them to not say everything that crosses their brains? It always makes me life when kids say random things like, "I'm sorry, mom can't come to the phone she's in the bathroom!" that has to be my personal favorite. The only thing that makes it better is when a kid yells across the soccer field that they have to potty to their parents. I don't care who they are - it makes me giggle everytime. :-)

Birthday Eve

2005-05-01T22:55:00.000-07:00

Well, here it is, my birthday eve. I figure for tonight I will discuss one of my favorite southern sayings, "over yonder". Basically it means over there - for those of you who don't speak southern. I have a favorite story to accompany this saying.

It was the summer of my 8th grade year, most of the girls in my family were vacationing in Panama City Beach, Florida that year. It was one of our last nights there, we were out souvenir shopping. We stopped in at Salty Dog to by the classic T-shirts. A store clerk w/ a British accent was helping all of us find our treasures, when my aunt turned to say, "Kasey, look at the one over yonder." The store clerk burst out laughing, and began quizzing my aunt on what 'over yonder' meant. He stated he had never heard this and inquired about other southern sayings. It makes me smile everything I hear the words "over yonder" because it reminds me of this story.

Do you all have any southern sayings of your own that are special?

Just had to join in...

2005-04-27T22:19:00.000-07:00

I have several friends that have introduced me to the world of blogging. I'm normally not a follower, but this seems worthwhile, so I will follow. Lead me on, oh wise ones that have gone before me.

Ok enough of that. I suppose I will explain the title of my blog "Southern Ramblings." It seems the more I travel, the more my southern accent comes out and the more I realize how many sayings are simply indigenous to the South. A prime example is the phrase, "Well, I do declare..." usually said immediately following shocking or surprising news. I mean really - what is the other person declaring? Possibly shock at the statement you have just revealed? Oh well - it is not as if I will suddenly changes centuries of sayings, just because I question them.

I will try to periodically update w/ southern sayings and my thoughts on them. However, there will probably not be a daily posting.